Coping with Kinabalu

Mental resilience for children

One might describe the experiences that the children and teachers from Tanjong Katong Primary School had at Kota Kinabalu during the recent earthquake as harrowing. Their experiences would certainly qualify as traumatic.

Not just because there was a threat to their lives and safety. But because the event was unexpected; because they weren’t prepared for it; and because they were helpless to prevent it. And because these things can happen anywhere, it’s possible to experience a traumatic eventeven without a natural disaster.

We can also be affected by the natural disaster. We also have emotional responses to the event, though our responses may differ from one another. Common responses include being more irritable or moody than usual, feeling anxious or overwhelmed, numbness, sadness, having recurring memories about the event, difficulties concentrating, social withdrawal and changes in your eating/sleeping patterns. Read more about these emotional responses here and here.

So what can you do? Plenty. Here are some ways you can help:

1. As parents
Parents can support their children by letting them know that they can ask questions and express their emotions. The ADAA (US) also advises adults to limit excessive watching and replays of the natural disaster with younger children, and to be available to older children and teenagers who do want to watch or read the news and discuss the event.

2. As teachers
Teachers can play an important role in supporting both the children who have experienced the natural disaster and others who haven’t experienced the earthquake but who are affected by the event. In addition to providing a safe environment for children to share their thoughts and emotions, teachers are well-placed to keep a watch for signs and symptoms of distress among children affected by the event.

3. As grandparents
Apart from explaining the event and answering children’s questions in a language that children understand, grandparents can also help children, younger children in particular, find the right words to express their emotions. More tips for adults can be found here.

4. As family members 
In addition to being available to listen, other adults can provide support by helping families return to familiar routines, including regular meal times and sleep schedulesexercise and spending time with loved ones.

5. As a helping professional
Among the various things which APA advocates mental health professionals do to support those affected by a traumatic event, it’s worth reminding ourselves about two things in particular. First, not everyone who is affected by a natural disaster will necessarily experience a traumatic event. Second, not everyone who needs support is ready to receive help. And one more thing. we can be helpful if we’re also taking care of ourselves. Read more about the importance of self-care and various strategies for self-care here.

6. As a medical professional
Social work and medical professionals can help by being available to listen to their clients and patients when they feel ready to talk. The US CDC has a tip sheet for helping individuals cope with a traumatic event.

7. Everybody
And not everyone who has been affected by a traumatic event wants to talk about it, their thoughts, and their emotions. We can be helpful in just being there, and by providing help in more practical ways. Providing chicken stew for dinner, helping to mind the kids for an afternoon, and helping someone run an errand are all ways we can help. The RCP (US) has other useful resources on coping after a traumatic event.

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